BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

More women than men suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. Like many other disorders, the exact origin of BPD is not known. It is said that upbringing and environment in childhood play an important role in this disorder. Weather it is genetic or not is not known. Almost all the disorders have one theme in common and that is self abhorrence. The people who have BDP suffer from severe mood tantrums and have broken relationships and they find it very difficult to complete their projects. They have difficulties in maintaining relationships weather it is personal or professional. Deep inside they suffer from fear of rejection and abandonment. It is chronic in nature and can last for longer time. The people suffering from BPD have following symptoms:

  1. They have extreme mood swings. They can be extremely happy in one moment and other moment they are extremely sad.
  2. They feel empty from within and get bored easily. Nothing interests them for longer time and since they are not in touch with themselves they do not know what exactly they like to do. They suffer from loneliness.
  3. They suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. They go into depression and have patterns of worrying too much.
  4. Their own emotional needs are so high that they do not have any sympathy for others. They do not much care of others. As a result they have unstable relationships.
  5. They get engage in alcohol and drug abuse. This they do to fix their emotional issues quickly.
  6. They actually crave for warmth and closeness but they express this through their damaging behavioural pattern. So as a result no one remains by them.
  7. They indulge in self damaging behaviour and hurt themselves (cutting and burning self) on many occasions.
  8. They have suicidal tendencies.

BDP can be environmental and genetic. Experts say that child abuse and bullying also play important role. Growing up in an environment that is suffocating and facing dominance as a child can cause BPD in a person. Neglect from parents and a belief as a child that ‘no one bothers about me’ also lead to BPD. The insecurity lasts with them whole of their life.

Because of their high emotional needs they hardly ever feel they need help from an expert for BPD. They feel that they will be rejected or abandoned by their family or friends and they keep fighting an internal battle for this. In this conflict they hardly realize that they need treatment for their issues. If someone’s loved one is suffering from BPD then they can do following to help them.

  • IDENTIFYING AND AVOIDING THE TRIGGERS: though it is not a long lasting solutions but one can definitely avoid the conflicts for some time. Unnecessary criticism, sarcasm and taunting can trigger anger in BPD. By using a balanced language you help them in not getting angry.
  • POLITE AND FIRM APPROACH: you need a polite and firm approach with those who have BPD. That helps them in knowing their boundary.
  • HELP THEM TAKING A PROFESIONAL HELP: All above mentioned methods do not give long lasting results. If your loved one is suffering from BPD then s/he needs help of a professional. Try to convey this to them in a firm language ( please do not threaten them with dire consequences of not visiting a professional)

LIVING WITH A BPD:

When you are living with a person who has BPD then life becomes really challenging for you. Both in personal and professional life have a BPD takes a lot of energy away from you. Please help yourself with below given tips:

  • If you have someone in your life that has BPD then try maintaining a distance. Do not be available to them on their demands, have your own priorities in life, if you have not set your priorities yet then please do that now.
  • Maintain a warm relationship with them but let them understand the boundaries. Let them know that they must not cross it.
  • If they are not willing to see a doctor or therapist for their issues then do not force it on them. Let them take their time. Remember, you can only advice them on this matter.
  • Take care of your energy levels. Do grounding exercises and shed away the energy that does not belong to you. People suffering from BPD have a tendency to think too much about one person. If you happen to be that person means lot of psychic attack are there for you. Keep your emotional body and aura protected from getting weak.

RAMA AWASTHI

HYPNOTHERAPIST AND COUNSELLOR, BANGALORE

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